Friday, May 05, 2006

you make me want to be brave...

this is jeff. he's the one on the left. :)
he was part of the team that went to amsterdam last month, and he's quickly becoming a very good friend.
tonight it hit me, just how providential it was, God bringing a friend like jeff into my life right now.
jeff challenges me in areas of my life where i've needed to be challenged for a while.
see... here's the thing.. i'm not very good at letting people in. genuine vulnerability just isn't something i do very much, or very well. people are always surprised to hear that, because i'm willing to share a lot about my life. but the things that matter most stay tucked away safe and sound. i have no problem talking about the circumstances of my life, past or present. but i don't often talk about the emotions related to those circumstances. lately, my fear of opening up is something i've truly despised. i wasn't created to be afraid. and i wasn't created to be isolated. i've been both, and i'm sick of it. plus, my unwillingness to be emotionally vulnerable affects my ability to be creative. which also sucks.
enter:jeff. as you can tell from the picture, he's a little crazy. :) but he's also open and vulnerable in ways that i envy. he has this beautiful, joyous, innocent openness that's just...well.. beautiful. and the more i'm around him, the more i want to be like that. so most of the time, he challenges me just by being himself. he draws out my emotions because he's so willing to share his own. his vulnerability challenges me to be just as vulnerable. sometimes it's uncomfortable, but it's always good. and step by step, i'm finally venturing out from behind the walls i've been hiding behind for so long. and i gotta say, the view is much better on this side. :)

i'm so thankful for his friendship. and i praise God for His wise sovereignty, His perfect timing in bringing a friend like this into my life now.


Post a Comment

<< Home