Monday, February 19, 2007

i'm feeling very discontent today and am begining to question the wisdom of trying to make a career out of writing.

here's the thing: i'm a people person. i love being around people. i love talking to them and learning about them. i like being part of a team that's working together towards a common goal. but writing is such a solitary act. when i spend an entire day writing (like i have today) i find that i'm not in a good mood at the end of the day. instead, i feel lonely, and a little sad. working in a cafe helps a little because at least then i'm able to interact with people. but my work is still solitary work.

for the past couple of months i've been writing a real estate course that actually pays very well. despite the monetary compensation, this assignment has been a huge struggle for me. i'm not enjoying my work. it's not energizing, it's draining. i struggle to work on it for just a few hours at a time.

it could be that i simply need to start writing about things i care about. maybe it's time for me to re-start writing my book, or pursuing different clients - people who work with at-risk youth, for example. but there's where the internal battle starts. i want to write about the things i want to write about - but as soon as i sit down to do it, this little voice in my head tells me that i don't have anything valuable to say. i mean, it's all been said before, right?

i think i could be a good writer. i think i could be a successful writer. and to some degree, i already am. but if i could just start focusing on things about which i have a passion, maybe i wouldn't feel at the end my days the way i'm feeling at the end of this one.


Blogger Cheryl said...

I used to write all the time. Or feel like I should be writing. I started a novel, then scrapped it and started on short stories, then scrapped those to start a new novel. I felt this burden that I HAD to write, that it was my destiny. Then I started blogging regularly, and that filled my need to write pretty much, so I haven't written any fiction for at least a year. I still have ideas now and then, but the thrill is gone. Maybe one day my path will take me back there. Who knows? Only God.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Leaning on Him said...

You go girl! Do what you love. Do what you're passionate about! You are an excellent writer. I love to read your blog and ponder with you. You express yourself very well. You have great value and much to say... (that little voice is lying to you. You are crucial in His Kingdom, no one else can fill your place.)

11:27 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I agree with the last comment- you know who that little voice is- stomp it out in the name of Jesus as it approaches! It's wrong and takes joy in keeping you from doing something God created you to do! Don't let that little lying bugger do that to you. Been thinking about you and praying for your friend this week...

11:54 PM  
Blogger Rachel C Miller said...

One day at at time,If you think about what you should be doing, or what pays the bills, it tends to overwhelm. Though there needs to be a balance in life it can be easily had if the adage "to thy own self be true" is adhered to. I think you'll be fine. Writing can take many a avenue and yes we all need to pay the bills....diversify

10:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home