i'm feeling very discontent today and am begining to question the wisdom of trying to make a career out of writing.

here's the thing: i'm a people person. i love being around people. i love talking to them and learning about them. i like being part of a team that's working together towards a common goal. but writing is such a solitary act. when i spend an entire day writing (like i have today) i find that i'm not in a good mood at the end of the day. instead, i feel lonely, and a little sad. working in a cafe helps a little because at least then i'm able to interact with people. but my work is still solitary work.

for the past couple of months i've been writing a real estate course that actually pays very well. despite the monetary compensation, this assignment has been a huge struggle for me. i'm not enjoying my work. it's not energizing, it's draining. i struggle to work on it for just a few hours at a time.

it could be that i simply need to start writing about things i care about. maybe it's time for me to re-start writing my book, or pursuing different clients - people who work with at-risk youth, for example. but there's where the internal battle starts. i want to write about the things i want to write about - but as soon as i sit down to do it, this little voice in my head tells me that i don't have anything valuable to say. i mean, it's all been said before, right?

i think i could be a good writer. i think i could be a successful writer. and to some degree, i already am. but if i could just start focusing on things about which i have a passion, maybe i wouldn't feel at the end my days the way i'm feeling at the end of this one.