oh my god, i'm buffy

go ahead and laugh, but i had a revelation while watching buffy during lunch yesterday.
first, a little background info, then details.
in one of the earlier seasons, another 'slayer' makes an appearance. her name is faith.
unlike buffy, faith loves being a slayer. she loves knowing she's gonna win. loves her strength, her freedom. unlike buffy, she enjoys her "calling" and her life. she gets the job done, but doesn't take things too seriously.
as much fun as i have watching the show, buffy's character irritates me. she's always gloomy, almost always hiding something from her friends, and she doesn't appreciate or enjoy the life she's called to.
now.. while i don't habitually hide things from my friends, i also don't enjoy my life like i should. yea, it's been hard to get my freelance writing career going. granted, i don't have much money, even though i have bills to pay. but God's called me to this. and i rarely enjoy it. so rather than being like faith who so completely embraces and loves who she is and what she's called to, i'm more like buffy, who's whiney and melodramatic and never quite happy.

and it's stupid.

hello! i get to spend my days writing. one of the things i love most to do. granted, i'm not all that enthused about the stuff i write (sales copy, etc... not very exciting) but i still get to write. i get to wake up every day and do something i love. and i just don't enjoy it like i should.

despite the fact that i've realized this, i'm not sure what to do about it.

faith would probably tell me to just get over myself. :-)