Wednesday, July 19, 2006

huh. that's me.

"But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry.... Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter....." Jonah 4:1, 5

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself.
I am Jonah.
This past week has been rough. I've been isolated (by choice), and sad. Our trip to Amsterdam didn't go like I'd expected or hoped. I'll spare you the full story, because it's been three years in the making. Suffice it to say that I had hoped for some clarity during our trip. Not just "next step" clarity, but "what are you doing with my life?" clarity. And I didn't get it. I got the next step, but that wasn't what I wanted, and I've been mad ever since.

It's been a while since I've been disappointed with God. To His credit, He's gracious enough to let me be. To the credit of my friends, they are too.

I've always been amused by Jonah's reaction to God's mercy towards the people of Tarshish. He actually pouts. Goes outside the city, sits down, and pouts. It's so great, because it's so human!
What's interesting is that God calls him out, *before* he sits and pouts. "Have you any right to be angry?", God asks. Apparantly, Jonah thought he did, 'cause in the next verse, he's sitting outside the city, being angry. Later in this chapter, God provides a vine that eventually dies. God asks Jonah if he has a right to be angry about the vine, and Jonah tells God that he's "angry enough to die." Angry enough to die. Isn't that so like us to pout and exaggerate. Well, it may not be so like you, but it's so like me.

Though I'm not completely "over it", yet, I'm on my way. Finding my way back to the joy of simply being with God, regardless of the details.
Truly "I am my Beloved's and He is mine."


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